You may not be ready to repair or rebuild your relationship due to infidelity.

Perhaps your heart is broken and you are longing for what you thought you had before infidelity.

Unfaithfulness requires deep healing and time.

The Shades of Infidelity

The first step to healing the broken trust of infidelity is behavior, time and an understanding of the healing process.  We often narrow the term infidelity down to physical cheating, but it is much broader than that.

Infidelity can be an emotional or physical act. It qualifies as any disruption in trust that is the result from one partner making a deliberate decision to keep intimate secrets from their significant other.

Some infidelity may present with a considerate degree of secrecy. Betrayal, when discovered, still creates enormous pain. It fractures the trust that works as the foundation of a happy and healthy relationship.

Can the Lost Trust Ever Be Found?

Though the feeling of betrayal, directly after the discovery of infidelity in a relationship, may seem impossible to overcome. Rebuilding a sense of trust in a relationship overtime is indeed possible.

However, regaining trust is not easy and requires both parties to be fully committed to working on the relationship, repairing the damage and creating a new healthier relationship. This takes a great deal of time and effort. There is no magic wand to make things new!

Many individuals see a licensed professional therapist to heal from relationship betrayal. After individual therapy and some healing, couples have the opportunity to sort out the issues of their relationship. Healthy dialogue can begin a new start.  Below are some tools that you can implement on your own.

  1. Be honest

Maybe your secret was discovered, you were caught in the act or perhaps you came clean on your own. Regardless, your honesty needs to be the focus in the relationship.

You may become defensive or feel interrogated by your partner’s new interest in everything you do. Trust was broken, lies may have been told, so understand where these questions are coming from.

With broken trust, we become skeptical and fearful of our partner’s intentions, honesty, commitment to us and their love.

Help ease your partner’s mind and reinforce trust by being forthcoming and consistently honest with your actions and feelings.

  1. Listen more

Better communication is the key to having a healthy relationship. You may have started this process by being more honest about your actions, thoughts and feelings. Now is time to listen.

Both of you need space to work through your doubts, hopes and anger after the infidelity occurred.

Part of trusting someone is knowing that you can share your intimate feelings and thoughts with them. Hence, practice good listening skills to encourage open communication and reassure your partner that you are there to support them and behave in ways that rebuilds trust.

  1. Stay committed

Sometimes, in the heat of things, we forget our ultimate goals. That’s why it’s important that you keep showing up and stay focused on what your goals are as a couple.

Trust isn’t given just because you say you want to be there or that you will change. You must show it!

This means making the necessary steps towards rebuilding trust every day. Stay focused and motivated by regularly following through with commitments. Talk with your partner about your goals and checking in on the progress of the relationship challenges and successes.

  1. Turn toward your partner

Of course you can’t solve infidelity with flowers, chocolates and promises. Rather use kind, consistent behaviors as a way for you and your partner to re-establish an intimate connection.

Vulnerability and intimacy are the result of feeling comfortable and safe with another person. Thus, start with small gestures that demonstrate to your partner that you care and are thinking of their needs. Be genuine and accountable, help with house responsibilities, parenting and be willing to preform  other reassuring behaviors.

Infidelity devastates both partners. The broken trust threatens the longevity and overall happiness of a relationship. However, with commitment, time, patience and dedication to the work required, rebuilding a healthier relationship with your partner is possible. In fact, you may find that your relationship is stronger and more deeply connected than before the infidelity occurred.

If you are struggling from the painful effects of betrayal, let me help you in the healing process. Call and schedule an appointment at: 469-213-6400.